


A River of Memories

by blinkifyawantme



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adoption, Death, Don't worry there's no sadness, Endgame Fix-It, Fluff, I just needed fluff post Endgame, I swear it's good, IT'S SO FLUFFY, Lots of memories, M/M, Peggy and Shannon Carter??, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Steve never left Bucky during Endgame, Steve relives memories, Tags are so hard, They are all happy, This is so not canon whoops, Who are they lol, honestly this is so fluffy, please read it, pre-war stucky, they don't exist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-07
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 12:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18738940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blinkifyawantme/pseuds/blinkifyawantme
Summary: So, let's try a summary. Steve is on his deathbed, Bucky is already dead. When he passes on, he relives some of his happiest memories. All of them are Stucky-centric.Or:A way for me to write all of my fluffy Stucky headcanons and tie them all together.





	A River of Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Important to know: While I did lowkey ignore Endgame, I still took some of the stuff from it. Tony died, but Cap came back at the same age, there was no aging for him. Enjoy!

Steve laid down in his bed to go to sleep for the last time. It had been six months since Bucky had passed away, and Steve no longer had the will to live. He closed his eyes for the last time and felt himself drift off onto a river of memories. 

Brooklyn, 1934  
“I can do this all day,” Steve said after taking a punch to the face. He put his fists up and stayed light on his toes. His attacker took another swing, and then fell down. Standing behind Steve’s attacker and clutching his fist was Bucky Barnes, his best friend. “Stevie, you gotta stop getting into fights. I’m not always gonna be here to protect you.” 

“I’m fine, jerk. I would’ve been fine, I completely had that under control!”

Bucky rolled his eyes at Steve and said, “If by under control, you mean that you were about to get your ass whupped, then yeah, I’d say you had it under control.”

Steve laughed and said, “Whatever, punk. I’m going to get ice cream, wanna come?”

The two went off to get ice cream. Both Steve and Bucky had somehow managed to get his all over his face. Bucky was such a mess. An insanely hot mess though, Steve thought. A mess he could never have. Bucky would never love someone like him. Bucky started to speak, interrupting Steve’s brooding. “Stevie, you, uh, got a little something on your face.” Bucky leaned in towards Steve and dabbed at his face with a napkin. “That’s a little bit better,” he said with a smile, still standing close to Steve. He took a deep breath and leaned in towards Steve, pressing his lips to his. After a few seconds, Steve pulled back, heart racing. “You sure about this, Buck? Do you honestly want to do this?”

“100% sure, Stevie, 100% sure.”

Brooklyn, 1936  
It was a rainy Sunday afternoon, and Bucky had a stupid idea. He wanted to go dancing in the rain with Steve. By this point, the two had been together for over two years, and planned to enlist together soon. It was a given that where one went, the other went. Except for dancing. Steve has sworn when he was a child that he would never dance. Every time Bucky asked him to dance, Steve shot it down. Not this time, though. Looking at Bucky’s face and seeing how hopeful he was, Steve didn’t want to say no to that. So, he caved and agreed to go dancing with Bucky. The two ran outside hand-in-hand and were immediately soaked. Bucky laughed and smiled, throwing his hair out of his face. “Don’t we need music?” Steve asked. 

“Just listen to the rain,” Bucky said. “That’s music.” He rested his head in Steve’s shoulder and the two swayed from side to side for a while. Steve had no idea why he had been so opposed to this. When they wanted to get out of the rain, they headed inside. Once they were in, Steve turned the radio on and turned up the volume. “Say what you want, Buck, but I think you need music to dance. How ‘bout we give it a try?” Steve extended his arm out to Bucky, and the two began a simple square dance to the rhythm of the jazz playing in the background. Slowly, dancing became a tradition. Anytime it rained, they would look at each other, and then run out into the rain, high on the company of the other. 

Brooklyn, 1937  
Steve woke up panting in a cold sweat. He sat up in his bed and started to breathe in deeply. He’d had the same terrible nightmare again, where he was forced to stand and watch his family and Bucky be killed over and over, as if on a loop. He felt Bucky stir beside him. Bucky asked softly, “You okay Steve?” 

“I’m fine, just the nightmare again,” Steve said. “Sorry to wake you.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Bucky crawled closer to Steve and wrapped his arms around hs neck, pulling Steve in. “Try to go back to sleep, kay? I’ll be here.”

Steve nuzzled into Bucky and settled down, dreaming peaceful dreams for the first time in a long time.

Brooklyn, 1938  
Steve frowned. Bucky had enlisted and was shipping off in a week. Steve, yet again had been rejected, meaning he was going to be apart from Bucky for the first time in his life. There was no way he was going to stop Bucky from going, though. He’d just have to keep trying until the army finally accepted him. “You okay, Stevie?” Bucky asked, distracting Steve from his thoughts. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine punk. Just gonna miss you is all. I’m worried about you.”

Bucky leaned in closer to Steve and bumped his shoulder against his. “I’ll be fine, Stevie, don’t worry about me. Just don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, okay?”

Steve smiled at that. “How can I do anything stupid?” He fired back. “You’re taking all the stupid with you.”

Bucky barked a laugh at that, but then his face turned serious. “For real, though, don’t hurt yourself. I need you to live. Promise me you’ll stay safe.”

“I promise, but only if you do the same, kay? I need you to live.” Steve smiled a bit. “Hopefully, I’ll join you soon. They’ll have to let me in at some point.” 

“Sure, sure,” Bucky said, clearly not believing Steve. “Tell you what- we’ll make a pact. I stay safe, you stay safe, and when the war ends or I come home, and I’ll propose properly.” Bucky looked up at Steve’s face nervously, trying to gauge his reaction.

Steve grinned like a dork. “You really mean that?”  
Bucky nodded and Steve leaned into kiss him, and the two stayed like that for a long time. Finally, Bucky pulled back and pulled a ring out of his pocket. “Wear this for me, okay?” 

Steve took the ring and put it onto his finger. It was a sleek ring, and fit his finger perfectly. He loved it. He couldn’t wait for Bucky to come home.

The Army, 1939  
Bucky was dead, Bucky was dead, I’ll never see him again. We’ll never get married, never do anything again, and it’s all my fault, Steve thought. He fell off the train and Steve couldn’t save him. Fat lot of good his power gave him now. There was no reason to live now, Steve thought, not if he couldn’t have Bucky. So, when the opportunity came to fly the plane, in what would be a suicide mission, Steve jumped on the opportunity. He took the plane down, twisting the ring on his finger one last time, with images of Bucky, always Bucky, dancing beyond his eyelids.

Tony’s House, 2024  
Steve swam through time, bringing the infinity stones back to where they needed to go. Finally, he was done, and could return to Bucky. They’d finally have time to have a shot, to get a chance at being together, without any interruptions. Steve popped back into his reality and met eyes with Bucky. Other people tried to talk to them, but he waved them off.

 

“Buck,” he began. “Before Tony died, he told me to try to get a life like his. He wanted me to have a family, and live happily. I want that for us. I love you, and I have for the past 80 some-odd years, and I will until I die.” Steve looked at Bucky, trying to gauge his face. 

Bucky smiled and said, “You know how you told me you’re with me till the end of the line? Well, I feel the same about you. I love you Steve, always have, always will.”

“Is that a yes then?” Steve asked nervously. 

“For you, it’s always a yes.” Bucky said, leaning in to kiss Steve for the first time in 80 years.

Proposal, 2025  
It was a lazy Saturday afternoon, and Steve and Bucky were sitting on the couch together, watching Netflix. Steve fidgeted with the ring on his finger that he’d had since 1938. Bucky had promised when he gave it to him that he would propose properly when he came home. It’d been a year though, and Bucky still hadn’t proposed. Steve has no idea why- it wasn’t like they didn’t love each other- they did. Bucky paused the TV, noting Steve’s silence. 

“What’s up?” he asked. 

Steve fidgeted with the ring on his finger, trying to bring Bucky’s attention to it. “I’ve just been thinking lately, about the promise you made me.” Shit, that sounded whiny, Steve thought. “That sounded whiny, didn’t it?”

Bucky chuckled. “Just a bit Stevie. What have you been thinking?”

Steve’s thoughts spilled out. “Well, just that um, you promised you would propose, and you haven’t? And I don’t know why, and it’s kind of stressing me out, and um, yeah.”

Bucky frowned. “I figured you’d forgotten about it! You never mentioned it, so I figured I would just, y’know propose when the time felt right? I didn’t realize you remembered. Stevie, I’d marry you today, you know that right? I just wanted it to be something good, and I haven’t been able to do it right.” Bucky exhaled slowly. Reaching into his pocket, he grabbed a simple silver ring. “I’ve been carrying this around for a while now. And I’ve been waiting for the perfect time, and there never seemed to be a perfect time. But, we don’t need a perfect time, do we? Stevie, Steve, will you make me the happiest man on the planet and marry me?”

Steve smiled the biggest grin possible, all of his doubts assuaged. “Yes, Buck, 1000 times yes!” Bucky took the old promise ring off of Steve’s finger and slid the new one on. 

“Y’know, Steve, I love you more than I ever thought possible,” Bucky said, wearing a smile just as big as Steve’s. 

“Me too, Bucky,” Steve said. “Me too.”

Clint’s Farm, 2026  
Steve looked in the mirror and smiled at himself, running a hand through his hair in a desperate attempt to make it look somewhat decent. It finally got to a somewhat acceptable point, and Steve straightened the tie of his blue tux one last time before grabbing the door to head outside for his wedding. It had been a little under a year since Bucky had proposed, and Steve could not wait to be able to call Bucky his husband. He shot one last nervous smile into the mirror and turned the handle. Sam was waiting outside the door for him. Upon seeing him, he patted his shoulder and tugged him outside into Clint’s backyard, where all their friends were waiting. 

The rest of the world fell away as soon as Steve saw Bucky. He smiled a big smile and walked down the aisle to meet him. His own happiness was mirrored on Bucky’s face. He walked down the aisle, eyes locked on Bucky. He looked simply stunning in his dark grey suit. Finally reaching Bucky, Steve grabbed his hands, and the two stood facing each other. Thor, the officiant started the wedding. In what felt like a flash, it was time for the vows. 

“Stephen Grant Rogers, do you take James Buchanan Barnes to be your lawfully wedded husband?” Thor asked. 

“I do,” Steve replied. “Bucky, I promise to forever love and cherish you, to listen to you and uplift you, to support you and help you, and to stay with you until the end of the line. 

Bucky shot Steve a big grin as Thor said, “James Buchanan Barnes, do you take Stephen Grant Rogers to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” Bucky said, and Steve smiled the biggest smile. “Steve, I too promise to forever love and cherish you, to listen to you and uplift you, to support you and help you, and to stay with you until the end of the line.”

“By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and husband!” Thor said happily. “You may now kiss the groom.” 

Adoption, 2027

Steve turned over to face Bucky. “What do you think about adopting?” he asked lightly. Truth be told, Steve had really been wanting to adopt for a few months now. He’d never talked about it with Bucky though, and unlike getting a dog, you can’t just bring a child home. 

“Mlegh,” Bucky muttered, waking up and turning around to face Steve. “S’too early for this kind of y’all,” he said. “Lemme get some coffee first.”

Steve watched as Bucky plodded into the kitchen is his boxers to make some coffee. A few minutes later, he came back into their room with two mugs.  
Handing one to Steve, he started blowing slowly on the mug. “Adoption, huh?” Bucky said as he settled down on the bed next to Steve. 

“I’ve just been thinking,” Steve began. “I’d, well, I want to have kids. And I think adoption is the way to go, because then we also get to help someone? I don’t know, I just really want to start a family with you, Buck.” Steve looked at Bucky’s face to gauge his reaction. Before he could read too much into Bucky’s expression, Bucky started to speak. 

“Steve, if you want to do it, I’m down. I mean, it doesn’t hurt to try, right? And honestly, I want everything with you, and that includes kids, so let’s do this!”

Six Months Later...  
Steve opened the door to get out of the car and head into the adoption center. After six long months of paperwork and meeting with the adoption agency, they were finally ready to adopt.p Steve heard a sniffle and glanced over at Bucky. His face was pale and was clearly trying hard not to cry. 

“Buck, you okay?” Steve asked, concerned and confused about why Bucky would possibly be sad. 

“No- shit, Steve, I don’t want to mess them up. I’m a mess, I’m a mess up! Just look at me; there’s no way I can take care of a child and y’know, be a fully functioning human being! I just, I don’t know if I can do this.” Bucky sniffled and Steve removed his hand from the door and placed it on Bucky’s, looking him dead in the eye. 

“James Buchanan Barnes, you are not a mess or a mess up. You are the best man I have ever met, and you inspire me on the daily. I want you to know that I don’t think that you are a mess up at all. You are going to be a great father, okay? I promise, you’ll do amazing.” Steve watched as Bucky’s frown slowly transformed into a smile. Steve smiled back at him and said, “Now let’s go adopt the the hell out of this kid, punk!”

Two Weeks Later…  
Steve picked up his son from his cradle, trying to wake him up from his nap. It had been two weeks since him and Bucky had brought home little baby Anthony, named for Tony, and they couldn’t have been happier. Looking down into his son’s eyes, Steve smiled, knowing that he couldn’t have been luckier.

Brooklyn, 2031  
Steve stirred underneath the sheets as he felt Bucky sit up beside him. He blinked sleepily and glanced up at Bucky, who was sitting up in their bed, staring into the distance with a blank look in his eyes. He shook his head as if snapping out of a trance, and glanced over at Steve. “Sorry to wake you up,” he said, still looking somewhat distant. Steve sat up and looked at Bucky. “I don’t mind,” he said. “You okay?’

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, just a nightmare,” Bucky said, trying to sound casual and get Steve to drop the issue. Steve knew him well enough to know that he wasn’t fine though, and Steve wasn’t going to drop the issue.

He sat up next to Bucky and tucked him into his chest. “Tell me about it,” Steve said. “That ought to help.”

“Every time I try to sleep, I see them, Stevie. Everyone I killed, their faces haunt my dreams. Every night, I dream that I’m back there, that I’m killing them, over and over again. It’s awful.” Steve felt Bucky let out a dry sob and pulled him in closer, just as Tony walked into their room. “I heard Daddy crying,” he said, sitting down at the foot of the bed. “Are you okay?”

Steve felt Bucky separate from him. He leaned down to pick up Tony and said, “Yes, Daddy’s fine, don’t worry about me. Come on, I’ll tuck you back into bed.” Bucky walked away holding Tony, and came back a minute later. He leaned against Steve, and the two stayed like that until the morning, holding each other up.

The End  
When Steve opened his eyes, Bucky was standing in front of him, on a bank of the river. Steve ran to him and burrowed his face in his neck. “I missed you so much,” Steve said, with tears in his eyes. Bucky held him fiercely and said, “Me too Stevie, me too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this! Please leave comments and kudos, they really butter my croissant. Thanks for reading!


End file.
